Today on DC Metro Moms and all SV Mom Blog sites across the country and Canada, contributors are writing about how the recession is affecting children. Leading the discussion are Katie Couric, CBS News and USA Today with their collaborative series Children of the Recession.
I have adapted my contributed post here for A Parent in Silver Spring readers to include expanded information about local resources available to parents.
Last week, Katie Couric, CBS News and USA Today ran a series that felt like a punch to the gut, Children of the Recession. Taking a hard look at how the economic woes are affecting our nation’s children, this series showed the realities children in families in economic crisis face. These kids are not simply dealing with less toys, moving to a smaller home, a more modest lifestyle…
Many kids are bearing the brunt of their parents’ hopelessness with the economy as victims of child abuse.
In this Children of the Recession segment on CBS News, reporter Sandra Hughes reports that Phoenix Children’s Hospital has seen a 40% increase since last year in child abuse incidents, and hospital staff says that the severity of the cases are dramatically increasing. Phoenix has been hit very hard by the recession, and now its children are, literally, being hit hard too.
Amongst all my newspaper/Internet/financial TV news watching, I never would have dreamed of this fall out. But though horrifying, I have to admit that a part of me felt guilty when watching this report. For though I don’t physically harm my kids, when I am stressed I know they feel it. I am more quick to raise my voice, I show them less patience, I engage less thoroughly in the activities that bring them joy. These behaviors do not make me proud.
I called the Parent Encouragement Program (PEP), Inc. in Kensington, MD for insight as to how parents can ensure they do not pass inappropriate stress onto their kids during these tough times. PEP is a non-profit educational organization for parents, teachers and others who want to deal constructively with children and teens and build healthy, harmonious adult-child relationships.
Education coordinator Patti Cancellier says that a great deal of PEP’s programs to assist parents deal specifically with stress and anger management, critical parenting hurdles. Cancellier and colleagues work to help adults feel capable even when faced with hardship, for hopelessness is the most dangerous feeling a parent can experience.
“Instead of feeling ‘up against the wall’ due to big challenges like job loss, parents should try to focus on the smaller sub-pieces of working their way out – meeting with others through group therapy, attending networking events, spending a set amount of time each day searching for jobs. Rather than finding the challenge totally impossible, they can feel they are making progress through small successes and feel more encouraged.”
Other tools for stressed out parents that PEP recommends:
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Separate: After the stresses of the day, physically make a complete change before you interact with your children. Compartmentalize your worries and anxiety and put them completely away when around your children. Give yourself a pep talk, change your clothes, make a total transformation before you put on your mom or dad hat. This will make it easier to internally set aside your worries when around your kids.
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Communicate: Talk with your kids on an age appropriate level about financial changes at home. Cancellier says, “Kids want to know that they will be OK, and while you should not unload all your worries on a child, you can briefly explain to younger kids concrete changes that the family has to make. For instance, you can explain to them the number of times they’ll go to McDonald’s, rent movies or take vacations must lessen. Then reassure them that these are adult issues that the parents will handle.”
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Educate: Group sessions, counseling and classes have been found to be great relievers of anger, stress and the feelings of hopelessness that financial crisis can bring. Through talking to other adults in the same situation or to a counselor, parents will find it easier to compartmentalize their worries and communicate appropriately with their children.
PEP classes and workshops are available through the DC area and scholarship programs and payment plans for parents in crisis are available. Childcare is available for some classes. Here are pertinent PEP offerings this summer:
Managing Anger, A Parents’ Guide – Learn how to control your anger, coping strategies and techniques, and how to express emotions in more positive, effective ways. Mondays 8/3 – 8/17 from 7:30-9:30pm in Kensington.
When Life Throws a Curveball, Surviving with Resilience & Humor – Survive and thrive even through the hardest situations. One night workshop, Tuesday August 4 7:30-9:30pm
Stop the Yelling – Children become deaf to our yelling and start yelling themselves. Break the cycle and create a more harmonious home. One time workshops Wednesday July 8 7:30-9:30pm in Kensington and Wednesday August 19 7:30-9:30pm in North Potomac.
Parenting Preschoolers – Learn healthy relationship and discipline patterns in parenting kids 2 1/2 – 5 years. Class meets twice a week for 4 weeks 8/30 – 7/23 7:30-9:30pm in Kensington.
And there are more great classes offered by PEP this summer. If you would like a full schedule of the PEP Summer Class offerings or to sign up for one of the classes above, call PEP at 301-929-8824. (The course schedule will be available online soon and I’ll post.)
I personally am considering a parenting workshop and I will be putting the tools Cancellier recommended to work at my house. I want my children to get the best I have to offer, for all they seek is my love, praise and attention. My own stresses seem so petty after learning of parents unable to provide shelter, health care, basic needs and their own personal stability for their children.
Let me be clear that I do not believe child abuse is ever OK and I am not sympathetic to the parents that subject their children to violence. But in this current environment of malaise and frustration with the economy, even those of us that have never even spanked our children need to be ever-mindful of not taking out our emotions on our most beloved little people.
It is critical that we as parents diligently work to give our kids the best of ourselves, even in the worst of times. I am thankful for the tips that Cancellier of PEP shared. I am also grateful that Children of the Recession series has shined a light on the smallest victims of the financial crisis. May our parents, and our nation, be more vigilant of their protection.
