“Let me tell you about being a child actor, kid. It’s great in the beginning if you can keep your folks out of the till. Then you’ll hit 24 and wonder if you should rent a permanent Hollywood Square. But if you can hold on through those Lifetime movies and animated voice work, eventually you’ll be able to re-woo your teen fans when they’re moms. Just ask Patrick D. and Robert D.J.!”
Want to watch Jen get sperminated?
Jason do his loveable-manic-sarcastic schtick?
Relax in a cool air-conditioned theatre while watching something decidedly not for children?
Because I have 100 tickets to The Switch for Tuesday – a few days before it officially opens.
I haven’t seen the film. But I do see a lot of (OK, every) romantic comedy or comedy targeted to women age 12 – 90. Yes, I suffer through it all. The implausible drivel and sexless kisses and doll-hair extensions and Ephronian retorts and recycled plots and man-childs who finally step up and BFFs who finally bone and he-said-she-said misunderstandings and squees and OMG cute shoes and ohhhh, they have a baby at the end I want another one sniff sniff.
I’m truthfully afraid of someday spontaneously bursting into a huge flame of hot pink tampons. Maybe I have a third ovary.
So I can say with a confidence and the self-imposed expert status that only a blogger can claim that this movie will probably be good. It’s by the same factory that churned out Little Miss Sunshine and Juno, two great screenplays with quirky, loveable characters.
Will the film be formulaic? I hope not, but probably. Rachel Green and Ross Geller-ish? Definitely. Aniston and Bateman playing their same old patented neurotic gorgeousness? Ya ya ya, but hey, it’s a Tuesday night in August. There’s nothing on TV except Discovery and TLC (Hi baby, nice plug, right?) and you can set your DVR. What else do you have to do? Leave the kids with Dad, throw on a tank top, grab your girls and a catch a free show.
Tuesday, August 17th
AMC Mazza
7:30pm
Watch The Switch trailer here – fyi it’s about a single mom doing IVF with a donor. It’s not a biopic of Mother Teresa. Please don’t be like the woman who emailed me after attending a free screening of Sex and the City that she was horrified about the rampant sexuality and materialism. Seriously. BTW I really liked Olivia Hussey in Madre Teresa, add it to your Netflix queue.
OK, you just want your tickets. You can each have up to 4. Send me your name for the exclusive guest list to apissgiveaways@gmail.com. If you’re one of the first responders I’ll email you back. If you don’t receive an email from me it means the tickets are all gone. You don’t have to give me the name of your lucky 3 friends, just yours.
There will be no printable ticket. Just arrive 1 hour before the 7:30pm show and get in line. Tell the good looking greeter your name and she’ll check you and your guests off the list frat party style. There’s always the chance that the show will be overbooked and thus you are not guaranteed a seat until your tush is in it.
Have fun! Tell Jason and his furrowed brow I said hi.
